i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How naked do you want me to be?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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