it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
