I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
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