We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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