I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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