did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
