Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
