Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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