9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
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