was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance