Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.