I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.