EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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