Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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