I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
smell my finger.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize