i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
