There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
