haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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