I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
