just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
