so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
