OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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