she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
