i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
