Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
