When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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