now i know why i became what i already was.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
