Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
