You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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