so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
