everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
