Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
its not stalking. its research.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
did you just send me my own nude
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
