My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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