If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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