We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
