A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
