I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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