wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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