she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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