Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
