Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm bleeding and have questions
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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