awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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