Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
