I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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