Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Drake has all the answers
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
