new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Mom said you looked used
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
