i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
