Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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