Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I am one with the molecules
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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