Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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