You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
