i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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