i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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