I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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