i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
as a side note pls kill me
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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