38 yer olds are good kisserssss
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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