all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
