wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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